Friday, April 23, 2010


I'm afraid I've been thinking. (A dangerous pasttime - I know.) This afternoon wasn't fun. Not to say too much, but Tyler was removed from the golf team, and it was both his fault and Michael's fault, and more slackness than badness. Still, taking the boys over to the golf course to sort things out and seeing people who were upset because of them was extremely sobering and discouraging for both Todd and me.

These situations are opportunities for growth, both for the kids and adults. I am certain that it's a good thing these character flaws have showed up now when we can work through them with the guys than later. And the yucky feelings are slowly working their way out of the house.

When I'm upset, I work. As I was planting and weeding, I was thinking. There are times I stand inside looking at weeds growing lush in the beds and just let them go because I don't have time to really deal with them until later, or the weather is bad, or other duties seem more important at the moment. And as I was thinking this, I wondered if I do the same thing with the boys. (And my office. But today's subject is the boys.)

So - much prayer. Tighter oversight of the boys. More talking with them, facilitated by Tyler not spending every afternoon and early evening at golf practice. Maybe less stress and over-extension on him. Watching their grades more closely, getting "all up in their business"! Boy, I don't enjoy this part of parenting. But I really care about how they turn out. Really really.

We'll just have to weed the minute the weeds appear for a while and hope to get a handle on them.


Karyn said...

Thanks for sharing, Zona. I'm glad we have people to share our growth and struggles with.
Love, Karyn
PS: You are a good mom! :-)

Zona Wilson said...

Ah, Karyn! You sweetie. Thanks for the encouraging words.

Sharon said...

Thanks for your vulnerability, Zona.

Your weed analogy (which is spot on!) reminds me of Dennis Rainey's great book Pulling Weeds, Planting Seeds -- a parenting book that's one of the best!

To continue the analogy: the problem with our lives is that we live right in the middle of the garden and rarely gaze at it from afar. So, the weeds grow so slowly that we don't notice the change until something dramatic happens ... like when somebody trips over them while walking. Which is what your son did; he tripped. I'm grateful that God allows us little trip-ups as warning signs rather than letting it build into one massive crash!

Zona Wilson said...

Thanks for your encouragement too, Sharon. I have really tightened up on the guys, and they are responding well. It's draining, and sometimes I think I'm just too old for this! But I really don't have any choice, and somehow I have renewed energy and focus for it. Yep, the guys both tripped - thank the Lord that it brought this to the surface to be dealt with.